What is EMDR?
EMDR is a therapy method developed over 40 years of evidence based trials and experience (NICE approve it for use with PTSD for example) by Dr Francine Shapiro. Here is how the institute that Dr Shapiro founded describes the guiding principles of this therapy method (downloaded from https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/ 12/06/26):
“Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound. If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain. Once the block is removed, healing resumes.
EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes. The brain’s information processing system naturally moves toward mental health. If the system is blocked or imbalanced by the impact of a disturbing event, the emotional wound festers and can cause intense suffering. Once the block is removed, healing resumes.”
In a nutshell: dysfunctional (unhelpful) reactions to current situations / people / places, are cause by earlier experiences SO emotionally overwhelming at the time that our brain’s normal procedure for moving (processing) experience from short term memory into long term memory broke down leaving an inadequately processed memory bouncing around in the present causing trouble in that we overreact, often to our detriment, in the present when the threat centre in our brain (the amygdala) is triggered by something like that past experience appearing to be about to happen all over again in the now.
Those moments when someone says something or does something and suddenly its like you’re flying back in time and reminded, clear as day, of some ghastly earlier experience with all the emotion of that experience flooding into the present. Your heart sinks or your stomach churns or you feel sick and hot (or icy cold) like that past thing is happening all over again causing what you consider to be a completely irrational (yet utterly uncontrollable), overreaction which destroys relationships and generally has you getting under your own feet in Life.
How does it work?
EMDR helps individuals have another go at processing (hence the term “re-processing”) the memory of a deeply upsetting event (so called “big ‘T’ trauma”), or cluster of memories of distressing experiences that, whilst none was life threatening, accumulated over a number of years (known as “little ‘t’ trauma”).
This is done in a way designed to reduce the past event’s emotional impact (through techniques like side-to-side eye movements or tapping), while focusing on the distressing event and also NOT describing or explaining to the therapist “play by play” what happened to you which can trigger your amygdala and suddenly you are re-living it, along with all the emotional distress, in the room.
The external stimuli (eye movement, tapping etc) are designed to keep you in the room mentally (so you can’t lose yourself in the awfulness of whatever this memory is) as you go over the event in your mind and, in so doing, may be able to settle it in the past so it doesn’t keep roaring back into the present and overwhelmingly affecting your thoughts and behaviours in the here and now when you’re triggered by something similar in the present.
Who could benefit from EMDR?
Anyone who knows that sickening “flying back through time” sensation when some one or something in the present connects with one of these “not folded up neatly and put in its place in the past” memories.
Examples of this might be:
- You are going into an exam or test and have a complete anxiety based meltdown as this present experience connects you to the memory of an exam in the past where you couldn’t answer a single question and then, with not enough time left to do justice to it, found the prefect question on the back page of the exam paper, flunked the exam and were punished by a caregiver e.g. a parent or teacher.
- You stand up to give a presentation and suddenly you are hot and sweaty and can’t think because you are being transported back to and re-running some ghastly moment where you were required to speak in front of your class (or the whole school) and were laughed at by your peers.
- A senior manager in a meeting asks your opinion and you go to pieces because a teacher once put you on the spot and you gave an answer which, whilst completely logical to you, was deemed “the wrong answer” and the teacher told you you were stupid and would never amount to much.
- A caregiver told you off for something that was not your fault and so you felt powerless or useless and then, when something goes wrong at work, you are terrified about acknowledging that something has gone wrong with even receiving feedback in the present very tough and sparking a defensive reaction.
What to expect – the EMDR process
Phase 1 – History taking and treatment planning in which you and I work together to identify a target memory, or cluster of similar memories, to work on.
Phase 2 – Preparation and stabilisation. We work together to build up your resources so you can shift from one state to another by 1) calming yourself then 2) focusing away from this state of calm and safety to a state of relative distress (NOT the target memory or cluster of memories at this stage) and 3) back to calm again.
Phase 3 – Target Assessment in which we establish just how distressing this target memory, or cluster of similar memories, is to you now and how you’d rather be handling it when this memory/cluster resurfaces.
Phase 4 – Desensitisation, the phase in which you start to reprocess the memory with me there metaphorically travelling alongside you. You’re not required to tell me in detail what you are recalling as you re-process which means that, whilst the emotion is intense as it passes through you and out of you, the shorter duration can make this phase of EMDR less punishing overall than conventional “talking therapy” methods which can involve retelling the memory to the therapist and thereby being deeply upset for longer.
Phase 5 – Installation, the next phase of processing where we work on what you decided in Phase 3 is how you would rather be handling this memory when it resurfaces.
Phase 6 – Body scan. We check to see if any body sensations are still turning up in the present e.g. feeling tight in the chest, flinching if someone raises their arm near you, so as to be sure you’ve completely reprocessed all parts of the memory this time round with no OTT “knee-jerk” reaction left in the present.
Phase 7 – Closure. Acknowledge the work you have done on reprocessing this memory.
Phase 8 – Checking that nothing new or different has come up since the Closure phase before moving on to putting in place plans for how you’d like to respond to triggering moments in the future.
Next Steps:
If you relate to this feeling of “perfectly fine and then suddenly something in the present takes me back to an old experience and all the emotion of that experience comes flooding into the present causing what I consider to be an irrational overreaction” the next step would be please to set up a 50 minute (non-chargeable) “Chemistry Test” session so you can tell me a bit about you in general, this memory in particular, see how I am with that and if you feel you could trust and work with me. Equally I need to be sure that I am a suitable counsellor for you, that there is nothing in the mix which I am not experienced or qualified to work with you upon.
Please email clairedysoncounselling@gmail.com or give me a ring on 07950 986 085, and we can go from there, thank you.
© 2026 Untangle Your Life, all rights reserved.