Claire Dyson BA (Hons) Integrative-Relational Counsellor Registered Member BACP (Accredited)
I imagine you are reading this because you have had enough of something….or someone….or some situation or other and possibly also had enough of people telling you what you should be doing about it along with their opinion of who you are or what you are (or aren’t!) Well, working with me will be different. I will be listening very closely to you, tuning into you and then working alongside you to see if we can turn off all the survival alarms (that noisy overthinking in your head, racing thoughts at night or feeling utterly alone for example) so first you can anchor yourself in calm then untangle and sort out in your own mind who you are and what you are and where you are and what you want from your life, what you want out of your Life and what you want in your Life . Then we look at what unconscious psychological barriers might be impeding getting to that – how you get under your own feet if you will – in the form of the “shoulds” (and other kneejerk reactions) or old defences designed to stop something that happened, or didn’t, ever hurting you again and how you can, in so doing, gain the casting vote in that eternal internal committee meeting in your head.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your Life and you will call it Fate” C.G.Jung
In essence I work with you on improving your relationships:
- Your relationship with your emotions (so anxiety or anger or stress or overwhelm or burnout, whatever the emotion is that disrupts living a contented life). Together we’d look at what has “Survival Mode 1” (fight / flight) or “Survival Mode 2” (freeze / flop / fawn) in the driving seat of your Life more than you would like it and see if we can persuade it to scootch over so you become adept at steering the course of your Life by building in some pauses, objectivity and, on occasion, acceptance so things don’t get to you as much.
- Your relationship with your partner – I work with couples, particularly when the same old arguments keep looping round like Groundhog day, escalating into a row and spoiling an otherwise good relationship. If you are exhausted by it yet both seem powerless to get out of this hurtful, destructive cycle by yourselves then please think about making contact with me, thank you. I also work with couples where one, or both partners, went to boarding school.
- Your relationship with yourself in terms of your self-worth, self-belief and self-esteem – do you feel worthy or does your Inner Critic bully, belittle and hold you back? Would you like us to see if we can give it a reality check then an upgrade to inner Coach crossed with a Cheerleader.
- Your relationship with the past – using EMDR to lay peacefully to rest old memories that are still bouncing around in the present causing trouble. Those “blood runs cold” / “travelling back in time”, moments when something about a current situation or conversation transports you back to an awful event or experience in the past. The memory starts to replay in your mind’s eye all over again and suddenly you are in one of the “survival modes” mentioned above rather than handling things as they are actually happening. This could be memories from childhood or more recent traumatic events e.g. a car crash. EMDR, is a method for consigning such “flashback” type memories to history by rapidly zeroing in on the “target” memory and kick-starting your brain’s own natural process of settling it in long term memory, a process interrupted at the time because the event was so overwhelmingly distressing or hurtful. I have specialist training to work with you if the past relates to boarding school.
- Your relationship with food – if you turn to food for comfort when you are bored or lonely or stressed (or you actually have no idea why you suddenly start bingeing), then, as a licensed “Understanding Your Eating” practitioner we may be able to sort that out. Here is some feedback from others who have done this set of 5 modules with me and got into more healthy habits – coping strategies that don’t have the side effect of weight gain, health risks or the soul-destroying treadmill of yo-yo dieting. If you are currently using GLP-1 (glucagon-like peptide-1) receptor agonists (so called “Fat jabs”) and want to protect the weight loss once you come off medication then please get in touch, thank you.
I do this by offering a non-judgmental, calm breathing space in which you put the World on hold and, with no one making demands on you, reflect, pinpoint what’s really troubling you, get to the root cause then choose what, if anything, you want to do about it. We can work together in person from my base in Weybridge KT13 or *online (Zoom or Teams). I was granted the status of Accredited Counsellor by the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy in early 2019 (this is, in effect, a quality standard for counsellors) and I am also recognised by Aviva, Bupa and WPA medical insurers.
I am an “integrative-relational counsellor” meaning once I have met you, I pick the best from several types of therapy (buzzwords you may have heard like CBT, EMDR, person-centred, humanistic, psychodynamic, mindfulness and so on) to make a blend tailored to you. Like a bespoke scent made especially for you rather than pushing you through the same old sheep dip regardless of your preferences or needs.
Research shows** that of all the factors determining how well therapy goes our therapeutic relationship accounts for 30% of likely success, hence “relational” and my studying a degree which taught me how to make best use of our relationship.
My approach is to work with you not only on those, apparently mystifying, forces that hold you in a tangled and unhappy present but drawing on your strengths as we go so as to boost self-belief that you can untangle your life.
Before taking 5 years to train as a counsellor, culminating in a 3 year BA (Hons) degree, I worked for 28 years in the private sector so I have insight into the stresses and strains of balancing work and life as well as experience of the ups and downs of life generally.
I have worked as part of the teams delivering counselling to NHS patients at two busy Surrey GP surgeries and with The Counselling Partnership, a BACP accredited charity, offering counselling for anxiety and depression from three locations in Surrey.
To find out more probably the best thing to do is get a bit of an insight into what it would be like to work together by having a (non-chargeable) “chemistry test” session.
To book please call 07950 986 085 or email clairedysoncounselling@gmail.com
I look forward to hearing from you and to the prospect of working with you, thank you.
*= please note that, whilst you may temporarily be overseas e.g. on holiday or business, your permanent home needs to be UK as I am not certified to work internationally, thank you.
** = Assay, T. P., & Lambert, M. J. (1999). The empirical case for the common factors in therapy: Quantitative findings. In M. A. Hubble, B. L. Duncan, & S. D. Miller (Eds.), The heart and soul of change: What works in therapy (pp. 33-56). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
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